My Past Blogs...

I just found these notes in my phone and I have decided to fit it here in my blog...
One by one, I will go through all these and will post God's answers to me thru a book I just bought "Speak To Your Mountain" by Kenneth Hagin.
The books says everything about me, how I feel about God when in times of trouble and all.
It's a good book and I am going to share it with you as we go along.

Here's one of my past blogs.

Dated: November 17,2007
On the 8th of November, my sister has joined my father in heaven.Just a month long gap and it happened.
It took me quite a few days to burn on my thoughts and get back to my senses. Suddenly , my world has collapsed..
Wish I had called and talked to my sister while she was still in the hospital and where she was still able to talk...Wish I prayed long enough...and hard enough.

I know, deep in my heart and soul blaming God and even just questioning Him for all these won't change a thing.
For some time, accepting this fate in a spiritual manner has given me enough courage to stay on..
just move on.and never look back.

It's beyond my undertstanding to comprehend.

As I am writing this, I am trying to draw air out of my room
which seemed to have plenty just a few minutes ago and now seems to have none.

There has never been any pain like this pain, not that I can remember..

It's like drilling an infinite whole inside of me.

The pain has swallowed me as the whale reputedly swallowed Jonah,that holy draft-dodger.

It throbs like a poison sun glowing deep down in the middle of me, in a place where until tonight there is only the quiet sense of a new thing growing...

For a time, death continues to appalled me.
Is there really life after death?
Will the dead have a new body free of pain, boredom and sickness in heaven?
Are they--my loved ones are meant to be where they are right now?

It's going to be a series of questioning.lots of immature questioning..

I know..