The devil is so pathetic..

My mama is back at home now...Praise God!
I cannot say a word..
I cannot say if the battle is over either .
For now, there's another war that I'm gonna have to face -- My Finances.

Lately, my finances are dwindling. My bank account is zero.
I have no more savings..I have so many bills to pay, hospital bills,
doc's, house got pawned, mama's maintaining meds, I owned some of my friends some cash.
God, when will I stop?


Not only that, I'm having some kind of ear infection which has prevented me from hearing God's Words from my ipod lately. Just sucks!


Sooo pathetic, Isn't it?

For sure, the devil is having a grand party right now.

All I can say?

Well, let him enjoy for awhile...

Sometimes the rivers of life seem

to come plunging down upon us, and they seem to try to suck us underneath and destroy us in their swift current...

Sometimes we're left in utter despair wondering whether we should give up and quit,
or just exactly what we should do..

But in God, you don't ever need to give up.
If you quit, you have nothing to gain.
But if you keep on going and keep on standing on God's Word in faith,
you have everything to gain.

Source: Speak To Your Mountain
by Kenneth Hagin

God didn't leave me without help

or comfort in this life.

The Lord Himself promised to give me grace in every situation.
His grace is sufficient to sustain me through every problem and trial.
And He also promised me the victory in every situation (1 Cor 15:57)

God already told me in His Word

that He would fight my battles for me...
The Word said that the battle is not mine, but it belongs to the Lord (2 Chron. 20:17)

In the midst of the battle, I know that the Lord is working things out for me..

No matter

how difficult my situation right now..I could only look unto God.

It's just awesome when I am in this state...I'd still want Him..longed for His words and just be with Him.

Is it this called the "VICTORY" of life? I don't know yet.

Yes, my mama is back again in the hospital. My bill is up to 49k excluding the would-be maintaining meds that would soon occur. My mama is now stuck in the hospital. My friends could only shake their heads.

I predict, it would be like this for the rest of the week, or even months or year..It will never stop...

So what I shall do?

Have self-pity, mourn and stress myself out to death? Will it benefit me if I stay this way in the first place?

Shall I blame and scold God again for letting these things happen to me?
Curse HIm?
Runaway?
Become an atheist?

I don't think so.
I may feel a bit shaken...
...sometimes I feel my heart stopped from beating..
my feet goes numb..my thoughts go blank..BUT...

It cannot stay long. It won't stay long! In Jesus name!

BECAUSE...God loves me..and once I start to feel that amazing love deep within me..
I am on the right track...:)

Do I feel stupid in believing this way?
Then, let me ask you.. Who would you want to believe?

"When we run into a test or trial in our own lives,

we need to remember to speak faith-filled words --- words filled with God-kind of faith.
"I refuse to fear! God has already redeemed me from the hand of the enemy! Satan's defense has departed from him. If I'll just trust God, I can possess my promised land!"

Think back to the times when the Lord answered your prayers and delivered you out of trying times and difficult circumstances. Get your mind renewed to God's goodness and great power. Remember the God who is more than enough to meet your every need!"

Source: Speak To Your Mountain
By Kenneth hagin Jr.

My mama...

was rushed to the hospital again yesterday morning.
She coughed out blood .
She had 4 packs of blood transfusion today.

What to do?

Stop right there.

I think I have been asking the wrong question.
It's not "what to do" ...it's how to feel and what to believe.

Worldly part of me is deeply shaken..Yes, of course I panicked.
It's my mom and I really don't want anything bad happen to her.

For now, I have $20 in my account..
My mind is in a whirlwind where to get
money for my mama's hospitals bills again.
It sucks ha? But this is just temporary.I know.

Somehow, part of me is frustrated and in other ways have entertained the devil's thoughts saying these words to me..
"Look at you! Where's your God and Jesus?? You are so pathetic, don't you get it... There's no God and Jesus. See I have proven to you. You were better off without Him then! Look at the others, they are enjoying life with me!"

But I just replied to the devil, "What are you so anxious about little devil?
You are like a politician --you talk too much!"

Then God talked to me on this verse...Jeremiah 17:5 "Thus says the Lord: “ Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord."


Sometimes, I get used to the feeling that everytime someone in the family is sick and I ran out of cash, I seek to people who can loan me cash instantly. Then I feel better. Seems like everything is in money...
If you have the money, you are ok!
That has become a habit..


Of course, today I truly, badly need money. For my mom's presciptions and all.
I cannot just ask my cousin in Cebu to go to a pharmacy and preach about Jesus
so they will give her the meds. Lolx! I cannot imagine doing that myself. Nor Jesus would want that to happen.
Because I believe I am a child of God. And God is my refuge...my Provider --I shall not want..
My God has a big hand..and He will take care of everything..

How will He do it? I don't know. Just watch...


Yes, I feel I am in the last burst of fire that the devil is playing on me right now.
In a movie, it's the climax part.

I know...It's not going to be easy...but with Jesus..I can surely stand on solid ground with all these. Every storm in my life shall come before me, but all I can
say is that..they are beneath me. and I am standing atop of them..
They may can shake me a bit, here and there, but I shall never fall!
Because Jesus has me. And I believe Him because of what He did to the calvary..
He died for me. If that revelation wouldn't move me at all..you can just flush me out somewhere.

Lastly.
There's this traditional church adage that goes,
"God helps those who help themselves.."

But it's not in the Bible eh?

Yes, with all my might I always tried helping myself , on my works, in my own efforts
and confidence... but I failed.It has become a catch24 which I wasn't so impressed of.
I felt I don't deserved to be leaving that way.

Then one day, I just got tired of it all and gave up..turned everything to God
and here I am.
With all these storms rocking my brains out, all the odds against me, the challenges and financial setbacks,I still praise my God because my victory is in Him!

Jesus has done my fight when He said "It is finished!"

Period.